over the past couple of years

I worked hard... fought w/ all my might... hoping I'd get a chance to relax and breathe. Hoping that I could spend time with those I love. Sometimes you work so hard, and the ones you care about aren't around anymore.

This is a reminder to myself: whenever you get the chance to share time with someone you care about, do it. Don't wait, they can be gone in an instant... I really regret not taking any extra steps to try and spend time with Jims. There were so many things I wanted to ask him, to tell him. I still need a God father to guide me, especially now. I'm really struggling to find some solid ground, at least on the inside.

I guess on the outside things seem to be going great. But there's a lingering sense of despair in my mind. Not because I am worried about graduating or getting a job or any of that.... I'm still learning what it means to be human, but the more I seem to find out, the more I seem to lose myself... if that makes sense...

After so much spiritual development, so much self reflection... I never thought I'd be so far from understanding who I am supposed to be.