Thursday, January 7, 2010

Grad School...

Applying to graduate school's been making me so anxious and nervous.  I am not overly concerned about acceptance, but there are so many questions I have left unanswered. 

For those who don't know, it's pretty much my mom, "grandpa," and me still living at home.  In 2001 my dad got shipped to Santa Cruz/San Jose because his job, my sister started a family and moved out...already 3 years now.  My mom is fairly dependent on me around the house, not just to help her out, but to keep her sane, and keep her company.  This house I pretty much grew up in is so empty now, I know it's tough for me at times when I'm home alone, I can only imagine how she feels or how the OG feels. 

Other things I would leave behind are my girl friend, my parish, my friends... I know it's only 2 years, but it is a difficult thing for me.  All these things are what keep me sane and fighting on.

Then there's the issue of funding, research, the ability to perform.  As great as Cal Poly engineering is, it really does not prepare us for a research environment. 

What about relocating?  Texas, Illinois, Ohio... can I handle it?  The differences in culture?  The weather? 

Bleh, I need to stop being a little b*tch.  I guess I'll just answer these things some other time, some other way.  Got finish those grad apps...