over the past couple of years

I worked hard... fought w/ all my might... hoping I'd get a chance to relax and breathe. Hoping that I could spend time with those I love. Sometimes you work so hard, and the ones you care about aren't around anymore.

This is a reminder to myself: whenever you get the chance to share time with someone you care about, do it. Don't wait, they can be gone in an instant... I really regret not taking any extra steps to try and spend time with Jims. There were so many things I wanted to ask him, to tell him. I still need a God father to guide me, especially now. I'm really struggling to find some solid ground, at least on the inside.

I guess on the outside things seem to be going great. But there's a lingering sense of despair in my mind. Not because I am worried about graduating or getting a job or any of that.... I'm still learning what it means to be human, but the more I seem to find out, the more I seem to lose myself... if that makes sense...

After so much spiritual development, so much self reflection... I never thought I'd be so far from understanding who I am supposed to be.

my goodness

how time does fly. just a year ago, i would never have imagined being where i am--not sure yet whether that's good or bad. i suppose God has a plan, hopefully i'm not doing anything to hinder it.

i just wanted to take the time to say how busy i've been with school and how it's made me feel so detached from who i am/used to be... and how much i miss those who've passed. miss you Six, Jims.

I can't believe how much my life has changed since that day I asked to be set free and I slammed my tC into the 57's center divider. I hope I can hang on to what I want to be and let go of things that keep me from God's plan.

you may think I talk a lot about God all the time. but the truth is, this blog is my way of forcing it out. i know deep down in my heart how much i love God, but in honesty the clutter & debris from disasters has covered that up pretty well.

love you God, I miss living in your grace and I miss your beloved children who've gone before me.