Happy New Year

Liturgical new year, that is. I think it's a good reminder of what life's about. What I mean is, history always seems to repeat itself. It happens in big and small ways: in our daily lives, in global events, in little things. Life is really like a jumble of fractals. Take a moment to look and see. Or if you have more time, this is worth watching.

I don't want to speak too much, so I'll just say this to remind myself. Life may seem dismal sometimes, but that's not enough reason to lose hope. There will be things that come and go that help you through out life, just when you think you're down to your last limb and you're stuck in a rut, life will continue to happen. You just gotta hold on and, though just doing that won't get you where you want to be, it will get you out of the rut.

Enjoy learning about fractals.

Happy Thanksgiving

have i been thankful lately?

i guess i need to be more thankful. i don't know why i've been so negative. if we all knew how to be thankful for things, we would be so much happier. because happiness is all about perspective. when you see things through a narrow scope, things can seem quite dreary. thankfulness asks of us to look around and see more, to see the way others see, and maybe to see in ways no one else sees.

in my life there is so much to be thankful for, i can't possible devote just one day or one blog to it. so instead, i will do my best to show my gratitude.

amen

I need to pray more

so here it goes...

dear father,

today was a good day. not because it began well, nor because i got much of my work done. it was good because i got to be near you. so thank you, father.

i always hate to ask favors, but i still i ask you to please be with me. i am not strong enough to go on without you, and my vision is not so sharp as to always see you. so please, father, be with me and make your presence known to me and to those around me.

it's been quite a difficult journey thus far, and i know there's much more to go. you have always been with me, but lately i have questioned if you're even there. i question if i'm crazy, silly, or even inferior to believe you're there and that you care for me.

the truth is, i am inferior. i am weak, and i am very small. this universe is so vast, and this life so short. so in many ways i need you. please put me in my place. it's too easy to get lost here.

father, please help me and guide me. nourish my body, mind, and soul so that i may do what is required of me. not for my sake, but for those who may depend on me.

forgive me for my sins, for the hatred, the carelessness. forgive me for not believing, for questioning. in your compassion, father, please hear me, please let me hear you. protect and bless all your children, especially those who are close and dear to me.

good night, pops. i love you, or at least i'm trying.

amen

solitaire

being alone is like playing a game of solitaire. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's hard. Sometimes you play to get by, to waste the time and other times you play because you want a challenge. It really all depends on how you play it.

Some versions let you go back and re-do your mistakes. Sometimes you're under a time crunch, sometimes there are very little rules and you keep playing until you win. But then again, when it's easy, there are little or no rewards.

In a game of vegas-style solitaire, for example, you have to be very careful and catch all the cards because you can only go through the deck once. It's very difficult to actually win, but you can get into the rhythm of positive return.

In the end, solitaire is a game of chance. It all depends on how the cards are dealt.



I should stop playing solitaire.

we'll be fine

You've got a dark side, that I can give no light.
Consider this my blessing, this is your dance.
I've got an answer, but I'm sure that it's not right.
Don't follow me down there,
Just stand proud and tall.
And don't worry bout us, we'll be,
Don't worry bout us, we'll be,
Don't worry bout us, we'll be fine.

I got a dark side that I'm sure you have not seen,
It manifests itself behind a smoke screen.
All in a long life, that I've learned these days will pass.
It happens too slow, so we drown,
Drown 'em all.
Don't worry bout us, we'll be,
Don't worry bout us, we'll be,
Don't worry bout us, we'll be fine.



We all have a dark side
That is ours and ours alone
Crawl out of that hole and scream
Damn, damn it all!

Don't worry bout us, we'll be,
Don't worry bout us, we'll be,
Don't worry bout us, we'll be
Don't worry bout us, we'll be,
Don't worry bout us, we'll be,
Don't worry bout us we'll be fine...

Dear james

I really can't wait to see you again. I miss you.

-Drew

black eyes, black threads, and bandages

"Cracked knuckles, and my fists
are bandaged up for the fight.
Am I ready?
There's the bell.
How many rounds can I go?
And how can I soften the blows?
Can I avoid them altogether?

But my heart isn't in this.
I'm supposed to be a seasoned fighter.
It feels like my first hit.
And it hurts like...
I didn't see this coming anyway.
yeah, it hurts like hell

So don't tell the crowd..."

flu days

today started off promising. i was going to get a bunch of homework and other things taken care of. unfortunately i came down with some form of the flu... i suppose. my mother and khanh nursed me and i'm feeling better... i just hope i got enough to finish the week off strong.

the power to control

means nothing when there is no self control

Happy All Saints Day

Miss ya Bac Tuong, Six, Jims, Robert, Yen, Matt... hope heaven's treating ya well =)