Reclaiming my spirit

hello faithful people of the internets.

you may not know, but my spirit's been dwindling within me. which reminds me of a psalm i'd like to share with you:

Psalm 143 - A Prayer in Distress

A psalm of David.

Lord, hear my prayer; in your faithfulness listen to my pleading; answer me in your justice.
Do not enter into judgement with your servant; before you no living being can be just.
The enemy has pursued me; they have crushed my life to the ground. They have left me in darkness like those long dead.
My spirit is faint within me; my heart is dismayed.
I remember the days of old; I ponder all your deeds; the works of your hands I recall.
I stretch out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land.
Hasten to answer me, Lord; for my spirit fails me. Do not hide your face from me, lest I become like those descending to the pit.
At dawn let me hear of your kindness, for in you I trust. Show me the path I should walk, for to you I entrust my life.
Rescue me, Lord, from my foes, for in you I hope.
Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your kind spirit guide me on ground that is level.
For your name's sake, Lord, give me life; in your justice lead me out of distress.
In your kindness put an end to my foes; destroy all who attack me, for I am your servant.

It's a beautiful prayer. Although the last line sounds a bit gruesome, you have to remember the context in which David prayed. Now, I pray his same prayer in a slightly different context. The enemy is the one who pursues my soul.

So, as I said, my spirit has been faint within me, because of all the troubles & weights of life. But many things have inspired me to reclaim my spirit. There are little moments here and there, where I can see god beaming out of the cracks. most notably, my girlfriend has been an inspiration to me.

father, forgive me. i will seek you out like i used to, because my soul cannot find rest anywhere but in you.

amen