the Desert

Have you ever been "spiritually dry?" Have you ever considered yourself a very faithful person, only to reach a point where you question? Have you wondered, "Lord, why have you brought me to this desert?"

Did it make your spirit feel dead?

Well, whoever thinks the desert is a dead place has never been to the desert. There is so much life in the desert, but perhaps it's something those who live in the burbs aren't used to--those who are used to the comfort of their homes, the comfort of the city.

The faithful Hebrew people have been brought to and through the desert, Christ is said to have spent 40 days there. A very strong monastic tradition sprang from the "dry" desert.

Why do I bring all this up? Perhaps because not so long ago, I found myself in the spiritual desert. My faith was waning. I could not see the beauty of God in life quite as clearly as before. About 4 months later and I almost forgot I was ever in such a place.

The water I once sought was some abstract spiritual connection with God. The water I found in this desert was a concrete understanding. An understanding of his interaction with us through our entire human History. With roots in the Bible, supplemented by rich historical scholarship and long-standing (or long-lost) Church tradition. This is, to me, the beauty of what Vatican II brought to us Catholics.

Vatican II, as I see, was an acceptance of what we once were, what we have become, what we are, and what we are called to be. The history of the Church is very much like my own personal history. I have roots, I had a starting point. I developed through social interaction and educational development. Some things I changed, some things I kept the same--some decisions based on good influence and some bad. When I was younger, my understanding was limited, as I grew my understanding skewed, and now in my most recent history, a sincere and academic approach is taken to realize who I really am and who I am really called to be. Knowledge is really a powerful thing that should not be undermined.

So this is a challenge to you, the one in the desert. Don't turn away, but look closer.

It's like any relationship. You can't grow in love if you don't also grow in knowledge and understanding of one another. We as baptized lay people are charged with this responsibility to do our best to grow in love and understanding of our Faith.

My mom said something that touched me in a very profound way. She told me I had a strong heart. I know she's my mom, but for her to say it in the way she did made me realize how much I had to be thankful for. My heart helps me endure, to inspire, to be inspired, to love, to grit my teeth and muscle my way through life. Some of us have fragile hearts. Its no fault of our own--nor is it a fault. We are simply different. So here's the deal. If your heart is fragile, and my heart's still strong I'll protect you. I'll help you grow, as I grow too. But there is a lot that can be learned from a fragile heart as well. This is me encouraging you who find it difficult to carry on, to carry on. This is me promising to do what I can to help you to that end.

We can survive the desert, we can flourish in the desert. It is much more likely we can do so together. Maybe you can see, that we are brought here for a reason, and that it is not a terrible thing.