Six

Today was a long day at school. I had to finish a paper... which I didn't, but my prof. gave the whole class until Monday, still had to do a presentation... but I think that went fairly well. I went from school straight to the block to meet up with Khanh to watch the screening of a movie called "The Goods"... don't know what to say about that... we had some In-N-Out, I had a burger with extra tomatoes, it was yummy, I think I'll always order extra tomatoes from now on...

anyways... onto the important stuff.

I drove home, put the car in the garage, closed it and walked up to my front porch. I searched for the right key to open the door and as I put it in, a memory rushed into my head. It was of a lady named Six who would always, always, always ask "Who is it? Is that you child? Are you home?" At that moment I felt a little emptiness well up in my heart.

Six was the sixth child of ten. I don't know much else about her past except for the fact she's the one who got to come here to America after my grandfather, Ten, passed away. He had passed away right after my parents finished the paperwork for him to come over here to live. Six, his older sister took his place... and strangely enough I never understood that until she herself passed away.

It was the day before Thanksgiving. I only had one class that day--Vector Dynamics. It was from 9-10, but my professor taught another section from 8-9. Before I left for school that day, I had said goodbye to Six who was already on her deathbed. I normally go to school very early to avoid traffic and get good parking... so that day I decided to sit in on my professor's earlier section. By the time I was back down in Garden Grove, I got a call from my mom that Six had passed away and to come home immediately to begin the traditional Buddhist death ceremonies.

From that day I put on a strong face, scared that if I showed weakness my mother would only be thrown further into despair. But the truth is, I'm very sad that Six is gone and, with my super busy life, I had forgotten up until earlier today on my front step. On the same step where I had been greeted so longingly and affectionately by her countless times. It hasn't been a year since she passed, but it feels quite like forever.

I didn't appreciate her enough while she was around, but ever since this house has been plagued further by a thing called loneliness. The beginning of the plague began with the loss of my beloved rottweiler, Indo, May 24th of 2006 and the moving out of my sister later that month to begin her new life with her husband and coming daughter. No... this loneliness happened long before around 2001 when my dad had to move up north to work and I grew more astranged from my family... barely speaking to them or sharing the time of the day.

Well... I just thought it was a good time to remember this, because it helps me appreciate what I have, who I have... Last week my father came back from San Jose for good... and now we have the opportunity to grow closer as a family once again. I pray with all hope and love that this will happen.