tonight I just pray for peace.
.
Friday, March 13, 2009
it gets difficult at night
when you're all alone with just thoughts & memories. faults & failures before you
tonight I just pray for peace.
.
tonight I just pray for peace.
.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
be a man
i wonder why we are so captivated by pretty faces, the allure of shiny things. is it social conditioning, or something that's wired in us? if the latter, why?
i say this because i'm sick and tired of seeing people chase shallow things. everyone seeks something deeper. i don't give a crap what you say. no matter who you are, you are seeking something deep. but of course if you are denying this, perhaps there is a fear associated with your denying. this makes sense, going deep is a huge investment. the more we invest in something, the more that we're going to naturally expect out of it.
i'm really far too lazy right now to flesh out my thoughts. but dammit does it frustrate me! err... i need a nap.
i say this because i'm sick and tired of seeing people chase shallow things. everyone seeks something deeper. i don't give a crap what you say. no matter who you are, you are seeking something deep. but of course if you are denying this, perhaps there is a fear associated with your denying. this makes sense, going deep is a huge investment. the more we invest in something, the more that we're going to naturally expect out of it.
i'm really far too lazy right now to flesh out my thoughts. but dammit does it frustrate me! err... i need a nap.
Friday, March 6, 2009
set me free
from these chains holding me...
It was a prayer i started... it's been almost 2 years ago. It was the good friday of 2007. It seems so close yet so far away. i hadn't had a very, shall we say, productive lent. when i woke up on that friday morning, the 6th of april 2007, i bowed down and ask for god's forgiveness for the utter state of distance from him. i don't remember how, but i got a song from casting crowns called "set me free." i made a lenten mp3 cd to listen on my way to the one class i had that day, engineering geology. it turned out that for some reason or other, the only song that was working on the cd i made was "set me free." i thought to myself, "that's fine, i like this song and i'll pray it on my way to school."
the short version of the story goes 15 minutes into my drive, i wound up staring down traffic on the 57 freeway just south of the 91, my car crippled in the carpool lane--butt end forward and wedged onto the center divider.
i was thankful to walk away with my life and body intact, but i had no idea what implications that event had triggered. today i fully realize how god has set me free starting on that day.
stay tuned for the next blog where i detail the major changes in my life from the time of my crash. in the mean time, enjoy this song by casting crowns and have a very fruitful lent, may Christ's peace be with you.
It was a prayer i started... it's been almost 2 years ago. It was the good friday of 2007. It seems so close yet so far away. i hadn't had a very, shall we say, productive lent. when i woke up on that friday morning, the 6th of april 2007, i bowed down and ask for god's forgiveness for the utter state of distance from him. i don't remember how, but i got a song from casting crowns called "set me free." i made a lenten mp3 cd to listen on my way to the one class i had that day, engineering geology. it turned out that for some reason or other, the only song that was working on the cd i made was "set me free." i thought to myself, "that's fine, i like this song and i'll pray it on my way to school."
the short version of the story goes 15 minutes into my drive, i wound up staring down traffic on the 57 freeway just south of the 91, my car crippled in the carpool lane--butt end forward and wedged onto the center divider.
i was thankful to walk away with my life and body intact, but i had no idea what implications that event had triggered. today i fully realize how god has set me free starting on that day.
stay tuned for the next blog where i detail the major changes in my life from the time of my crash. in the mean time, enjoy this song by casting crowns and have a very fruitful lent, may Christ's peace be with you.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
when you're at your lowest
what keeps you going?
is it because someone else is depending on you? do you do it to please someone else? were you inspired by those who came before?
i bottom out pretty hard every now and then. today i feel like a royal screw up with more and more responsibilities catching up with me. so when i search my soul, i ask myself these things.
what is it that keeps me going? what is it that can keep me going?
i wish i could say, those i love are my inspiration that i can keep them in perspective and they help me keep my head up. the truth is, they really just make me worry more. when i search deep down in my soul for the truest answer i can muster, the answer is simply because it's the right thing to do.
and i thought i was going to pull through miraculously with an awe inspiring answer. my answer doesn't make it any easier, but its enough to keep going.
goodnight friends&family, anyone out there. my heart goes out to you.
is it because someone else is depending on you? do you do it to please someone else? were you inspired by those who came before?
i bottom out pretty hard every now and then. today i feel like a royal screw up with more and more responsibilities catching up with me. so when i search my soul, i ask myself these things.
what is it that keeps me going? what is it that can keep me going?
i wish i could say, those i love are my inspiration that i can keep them in perspective and they help me keep my head up. the truth is, they really just make me worry more. when i search deep down in my soul for the truest answer i can muster, the answer is simply because it's the right thing to do.
and i thought i was going to pull through miraculously with an awe inspiring answer. my answer doesn't make it any easier, but its enough to keep going.
goodnight friends&family, anyone out there. my heart goes out to you.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Reclaiming my spirit
hello faithful people of the internets.
you may not know, but my spirit's been dwindling within me. which reminds me of a psalm i'd like to share with you:
Psalm 143 - A Prayer in Distress
A psalm of David.
Lord, hear my prayer; in your faithfulness listen to my pleading; answer me in your justice.
Do not enter into judgement with your servant; before you no living being can be just.
The enemy has pursued me; they have crushed my life to the ground. They have left me in darkness like those long dead.
My spirit is faint within me; my heart is dismayed.
I remember the days of old; I ponder all your deeds; the works of your hands I recall.
I stretch out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land.
Hasten to answer me, Lord; for my spirit fails me. Do not hide your face from me, lest I become like those descending to the pit.
At dawn let me hear of your kindness, for in you I trust. Show me the path I should walk, for to you I entrust my life.
Rescue me, Lord, from my foes, for in you I hope.
Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your kind spirit guide me on ground that is level.
For your name's sake, Lord, give me life; in your justice lead me out of distress.
In your kindness put an end to my foes; destroy all who attack me, for I am your servant.
It's a beautiful prayer. Although the last line sounds a bit gruesome, you have to remember the context in which David prayed. Now, I pray his same prayer in a slightly different context. The enemy is the one who pursues my soul.
So, as I said, my spirit has been faint within me, because of all the troubles & weights of life. But many things have inspired me to reclaim my spirit. There are little moments here and there, where I can see god beaming out of the cracks. most notably, my girlfriend has been an inspiration to me.
father, forgive me. i will seek you out like i used to, because my soul cannot find rest anywhere but in you.
amen
you may not know, but my spirit's been dwindling within me. which reminds me of a psalm i'd like to share with you:
Psalm 143 - A Prayer in Distress
A psalm of David.
Lord, hear my prayer; in your faithfulness listen to my pleading; answer me in your justice.
Do not enter into judgement with your servant; before you no living being can be just.
The enemy has pursued me; they have crushed my life to the ground. They have left me in darkness like those long dead.
My spirit is faint within me; my heart is dismayed.
I remember the days of old; I ponder all your deeds; the works of your hands I recall.
I stretch out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land.
Hasten to answer me, Lord; for my spirit fails me. Do not hide your face from me, lest I become like those descending to the pit.
At dawn let me hear of your kindness, for in you I trust. Show me the path I should walk, for to you I entrust my life.
Rescue me, Lord, from my foes, for in you I hope.
Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your kind spirit guide me on ground that is level.
For your name's sake, Lord, give me life; in your justice lead me out of distress.
In your kindness put an end to my foes; destroy all who attack me, for I am your servant.
It's a beautiful prayer. Although the last line sounds a bit gruesome, you have to remember the context in which David prayed. Now, I pray his same prayer in a slightly different context. The enemy is the one who pursues my soul.
So, as I said, my spirit has been faint within me, because of all the troubles & weights of life. But many things have inspired me to reclaim my spirit. There are little moments here and there, where I can see god beaming out of the cracks. most notably, my girlfriend has been an inspiration to me.
father, forgive me. i will seek you out like i used to, because my soul cannot find rest anywhere but in you.
amen
Thursday, February 5, 2009
re-connecting
I've been making a slow effort at it lately. from calling people up @ christmas time, to getting on aim.
it's really tough, but i don't want to be lost and gone forever. i really enjoy my family and friends past and present. miss you guys out there, drop me a line when you can. i'll try and do the same.
it's really tough, but i don't want to be lost and gone forever. i really enjoy my family and friends past and present. miss you guys out there, drop me a line when you can. i'll try and do the same.
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